Journal #6

The first thing i did to revise my paper was to rewrite the first paragraph.  I tried to make it a bit more interesting and have it catch the readers attention more.  I also added more description to each of the paragraphs to try to copy what Hurston does.  I made some minor changes to the dialect in order to make it easier to read.  One of the big things i saw in my paper was that the sentences didn't really flow together very well, so i when and changed the structure of most of the sentences.  This would make the entire paper easier for the eyes to read. With the ending of the pastiche i rewrote the ending because it didn't feel like it did anything to support the theme.  And finally i went through and attempted to strengthen the literary terms used.  Hopefully they are easier to pick out in the pastiche.